Black. The door opens to reveal two silhouettes. One of the silhouettes turn on the light to reveal a dirty place (not theirs). The girl groans and it pans up to the title. It pans back down to the daughter and father washing dishes (he's washing dishes, she's drying). He looks at the girl with a sad expression before -!! he has a mischievous smile. The girl continues to dry the dish until PSSSSHHHHH, she's drenched with water.
The girl turns around to face her father. He cocks his arm and aims it at her. She panics and uses her propeller fingers to deflect the water. He instinctively covers his face from the water. He looks back and then turns around. She's no longer there! Then, as he's faced to the right of the screen, she KICKS HIM. His beard cleans up the table!
BUT HE'S NOT HAVING ANY OF THOSE SHENANIGANS. She falls and almost hits the ground. Confused, she looks up, where it pans up to the dad holding her foot. She hesitantly waves towards the father before SHWOOP. The dad flicks her in a stiff motion before using her as a duster to dust the fridge.
As her hair dusts the fridge, her elbow hits the handle and opens the freezer, releasing ice to the floor. The father starts to slip on the ice and TOSSES HIS DAUGHTER UP IN THE AIR. He slips and THUD, he hits the floor. OOF, she lands on him and AHHHHHHH, THEY'RE SLIDING ACROSS THE FLOOR.
Cut to the door. A person opens the door and WOW, this place is super clean! The daughter and father rotate back in the screen. The person is horrified and SLAM, kicks them out with money floating down. The daughter and father stare at the door. He glances at the daughter and points to the mess on her cheek. She tries to wipe it clean, but instead is met with water hitting her face.
Act1
ReplyDeleteI love your inciting incident. A little water splash cause a huge battle between them. I know you probably will do this in the film, but make the daughter and father look more alike.
Act2
You have plenty of conflicts and good camera angles, but you could add more variety in what you fight with. They could spray cleaners, use sponges, through plates and they land safely into the dish washer, or pour soup on the floor. (I love how they interact with the environment by the way. Especially the fridge scene.)
Act3
The ending is very funny. However, you could add stench fumes and flies flying around bodies.
However, I'm not sure what your displaying in your last card. Is he making something burst on her face or is he staritng the battle all over again by spraying her face with water? Besides that minor confusing I love the story telling in your film.
Act1
ReplyDeleteI love your inciting incident. A little water splash cause a huge battle between them. I know you probably will do this in the film, but make the daughter and father look more alike.
Act2
You have plenty of conflicts and good camera angles, but you could add more variety in what you fight with. They could spray cleaners, use sponges, through plates and they land safely into the dish washer, or pour soup on the floor. (I love how they interact with the environment by the way. Especially the fridge scene.)
Act3
The ending is very funny. However, you could add stench fumes and flies flying around bodies.
However, I'm not sure what your displaying in your last card. Is he making something burst on her face or is he staritng the battle all over again by spraying her face with water? Besides that minor confusing I love the story telling in your film.
This is also a very nice story you put together. Lot's of action going on and some comedy. Remember with the design to make it whatever you define as "simple." If you run over the time, like I said with your previous one, just cut something short or remove one of the action scenes.
ReplyDeleteSuper Noice story! Super Cute!! :0 The only thing i feel the need to comment on is the runtime and the difficultly of animating some of the scenes. I don't think it'll go WAY over 45 sec but i feel like it would run over a little. The difficultly of some of the scene would prove a good challenge and you would definitely grow as animator but depending on how difficult the quality may drop compared something with less action. But If you do pull it off with awesome quality, it would definitely become a good profile piece.
ReplyDeleteThis storyboard is more direct and clearer. I can follow the chain of events clearly. I do have one question. Does the father slams the daughter up or down on the table in the 2nd and 3rd set of storyboards? Other than that, nothing needs to be taken out.
ReplyDeleteNice contrast between the characters, has a lot of action in it and I would say watch length of it. Its kind of funny how its father and daughter fighting how they are.
ReplyDeleteSuper cute story an easy to understand I agree with shavonne I think you could use more things in the house to make it funnier I think it would be great animation with all the motion.
ReplyDelete